Gee it’s so interesting how technology can completely wipe a contemplative state. I just jumped on my computer compelled to capture some of what I read, and suddenly I was designing Chronos and Kairos logo and thinking about how to change the website. C&K is not a futural project yet. It feels ill-considered and so jumping onto it in this way was a kind of distraction for my mind. Something easy to play with. And that’s ok, but the trouble is I forget.
I forget constantly what the imperative is. It’s really hard to remain present to the imperative – to search for the tool to pick up, or the knowledge that’s needed for a more fully realised practice to arrive. And this takes discipline! A lot of discipline or seeing or valuing certain forms of knowledge or making over others. Of making a more conscious decision to expend energy on processes that help me to transition or articulate what I’m trying to do. Moving towards an unknown destination, once the unknown creeps in, it seems to prompt in me the desire to know everything. I feel overwhelmed by the sense of not knowing and feel the intense desire to bridge that gap (which will never be bridged) as though knowing more will satiate some sense of lack. But this is the space in which I must dwell and dwell slowly and contemplatively for anything of substance to really emerge.